Monday, September 30, 2013

Home Run

18 
Movie time! my husband and I usually have this movie time specially when kids are already in bed sleeping and we are in the mood to share our "we time" together. Last night since we felt so tired because our weekend schedule was extremely extraordinary we decided to watched movie together since we are not doing it for quite sometime maybe because we became so busy this past few months. 

At the start of the movie someone send message on Kakao telling us to read Isaiah chapter sixty (60) I am not really a Bible reader because growing up, reading Bible was not part of our home environment. Bible reading was merely a part of force implementation I may say at school so I never enjoy reading the Bible at all. Since movie was about to start I just told my self that, okey I will check on it later or if not, tomorrow. Because sometimes I fell a sleep in the middle of the movie. 

The movie was the usual story about a pro baseball player with a substance abuse problem, forced to rehab in his hometown because there was a 12 week program in their church that according to his manager was quite effective. But the movie was about finding new hope, he gets honest about his checkered past, and takes on coaching duties after his brother got into an accident because of his careless driving. This movie was highly recommended if you want to change your life :)



In the middle of the movie my husband and I are both sobbing, of course he will not let me notice it but watching this movie make us realized that our life is not a product of our past. This movie was so timely with what is happening in our lives now, how the Lord change and still changing us both. We both came in a family that I can say the normal one. Me on my part, I saw a lot of misunderstanding, fighting about money, and personal issues. My mom used to beat us her children with something that she can pick up every time her anger arises, insult was the usual words every time she has problem with money, with my father, with her relatives. 

I kept grudges specially on her even though she loves me more than my siblings, since I am the youngest of the brood. As I became older I didn't notice that those feelings files up in my emotions, that the reasons why I wanted to satisfy her is not because I love her or because I am an obedient daughter but because I am afraid of her anger, I am afraid that she might hit me even though I am already grown up, since I saw what she and my sisters had been through in the past, I don't want to disappoint her. Growing up I followed every detailed that she wants me to be.


Time went by and the Lord was really true to his promises.

Matthew 10:37-39

37."Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. 38 Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me. 39 Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it.

When my mother left me,  after a year or two I realized that she was not her that I really wanted. I was nearly crazy and rebellious when she left me, by then I was old enough to destruct my self. Failed relationship after another looking for someone to take care of me the way she took care of me. Just like my mother it was music to my ear every time I said bad words and insult other people and heard insult from them in return, but God really knows what our heart desire. Carrying my own cross she sent a lot of angels along the way, that every time I stumbled down someone was there to pick me up. It is true that just honor the Lord and definitely the right people will find you. I got tired running around and He sent his most trusted angel. I called her "Nanay". She took me in her wings without hesitation. I thought it was the beginning of something else but cycle began to roll. I had my first victim, my son. Just like my mother I love him but I am not fond of taking care of him so Nanay was the one who took care of him. What I hate about my mother I was doing it with my son. I beat him, insult him and I got angry without any reasons at times. But I never heard anything from the angel that he sent to look after me and my son.

That went on until my mother came back and be with us again. My life became chaotic again though my mother began to slow down and became more caring to us and her grandchildren. But this time I am already struggling with my past. I am afraid that my son will see how my mother treated me and how I treat her in return and he will do the same thing to me when I grow old. That every time I beat my son and my mother will be in the middle I always told her "you used to do that to us isn't". I told her intentionally because I wanted her to feel bad, that unconsciously that is already some sort of revenge. That every time  I always bring back the past, that every time I beat my son and she was there to witness, I am already hurting her so badly until she left me again and be with my sister again. I am still longing for her but I know I am not yet ready to face her, that I still need God to heal me, to forget all about the past. 


Isaiah 43:18


18 “Forget the former things;do not dwell on the past. 19 See, I am doing a new thing!Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.

It is true that our past doesn't define our future, that our life is not a product of our surroundings that we can create our own destiny if we want to, but not on our own understanding.


Proverbs 3:5

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not in your own understanding

I am now on the process of facing my past, I already pass the initial steps, I am trying to control my anger specially with my eldest son whom I love so dearly because I know he is also God's angel when I had him. I am fully aware now that my mother had her own past issues that need to attend and I began to understand her more and I am praying for her everyday. It is true that when the Lord calls you, you cannot say no. He will used your past hurt and mistakes to understand other people why they reacted that way. I know I am still a work in progress, I am still hurting inside and do some sins sometimes, I still got angry at times, I am not writing this because I wanted to be praise, I don't want to please people now, I don't care what they will say or how they will going to treat me because I already understand better now. I just wanted to share that it is not yet too late. That God loves us regardless of our past circumstances and experiences, that his favor upon us is unlimited, that He has always time for us, that He is just there waiting for us. To love Him with all our heart because He loves us first, long time ago.


Isaiah 60:19-20

The sun will no more be your light by day, nor will the brightness of the moon shine on you, for the Lord will be your everlasting light, and your God will be your glory. Your sun will never set again and your moon will wane no more; the Lord will be your everlasting light and your days of sorrow will end. 

Have a happy and fruitful life






























Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Hitting Rock Bottom life, Just trust Him


I was about to write the third step on how to Pay off debts since  me and my husband promised that we will share everything we've learned in any way possible. After all the bad things happened to us in the past it's a way of giving back so that they will not experience what we've been through. I want people to know that there is hope and there is a big God more than their debts and problems, that they don't need to worry even though they are drowning with debts, been there done that. But before that with a lot of blessings coming our way these past few months I just wanted to share something.

      For I know the plan I have for you, says the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. -- Jeremiah 29:11

Six years ago turning seven this coming August, I still remember because I was about to give birth with my youngest, she is turning seven this coming August. Our life was way, way, lot more different from today miles and miles away if I may say. Thinking how we survived that chaotic part of our lives was still a big mystery to me and my husband. We are drowning with debts, we are living in a one bedroom apartment because the other room need to used as a stock room for my husband business venture. I have three little kids who are still depending on us, no cars, no savings, a lot of post dated checks need to be paid, debtors calling me left and right just to remind us that they need to bank in their check as soon as possible, living in a paycheck to paycheck salary and not even enough to sustain our everyday needs, because our salary was less than the amount of debt we need to pay, cancer afflicted me, operated twice, became a single mother of three in an instant (My husband went overseas) some of the most important people in our lives past away without any signs. It was really a rock bottom life. 


       And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus. -- Philippians 4:19

Buying something for my children was not on my priority list at that time. I remember one time going back home after office hour, I was thinking of my son and I wanted him to buy a pair of socks. I was with my co-worker walking because we wanted to save our money on transportation, we saw this guy buying used sim card in the market. Oh by the way my husband went overseas after realizing that there is no way we can pay the damage done to us after what happened to our last business and he left everything behind, well what I meant was, he left all the garbage but not his responsibilities. Imagine one room full of garbage? what am I going to do with those garbage? At that time if only I can do magic and turn those garbage into money better isn't, problem solve, but it was not easy. I ask my husband then on the phone, and without blinking and hesitation maybe out of loosing interest to the business he just told me to throw everything and he doesn't wanted to see them again when he comes back (I know those garbage cost a lot but since I am not an Engineer for me they are mere garbage),  but God really works in mysterious ways I was able to dispose and benefit from them little did I know that after selling those bunch of sim card I am in front of a vendor buying socks for my son since the next day was the opening or the first day of school and he still needs new pair of socks to wear . Thinking now, those events were meant to happen, because those experiences made us who we are today, it is true that you cannot share unless you have something to share, it gives us more faith and understanding that during those rough times it was the biggest blessing we ever had. 

     Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. -- Matthew 11: 28

Why biggest blessing? because my husband and I learned so many things it's a kind of OJT, an expensive on the job training about life,  that when you cannot do anything about the situation just close your eyes and take a deep breathe. We learned to depend on Him. We learned to ask for something extraordinary, I even challenge Him  (Well God loves to be challenge by the way, just to prove that we are wrong and He is right, that He is more than we ask for), we learned the power of humility which we need in able to survive. It was so amazing that most of our debtors which we didn't run away were so kind they even gave us food sometimes just to survive, they supported us all the way. Because during those times It was really difficult to eat decent meals if all our debtor will ask us to pay them all at one time. I save every bit of my salary and every remittance my husband send me just to pay our monthly dues. 

*April 19, 2011 was our freedom day by the way free from debts and from that day on no turning back.

   For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways. -- Psalms 91:11

During those hard times real friends came, those people whom I never imagine I will ask favor from them, sometimes they even have the initiative to lend me money when gas run out, when milk was on their last scoop and diaper was on last piece. (That is why I believed in Angel) God really send the right people to us. Everyday was a miracle for me at that time, every struggle there was an answered prayer and even me I cannot explain how those things, and events happens and those people came out every day. Though according to Bo Sanchez "God stands by his friends. I became more faithful to him, I've learned the power of tithing, the power of giving more than receiving. Now no regrets with all those events. God really works and walks in mysterious way. We may not know what His plan for us today, but rest assured that He will never leave us nor forsake us. And those angels they remained loyal to us, and it didn't end there because more angels are keep on coming.

Have a happy and fruitful life.

Thursday, February 28, 2013

Wicked & Righteous

STEP No.2 : LIST DOWN ALL YOUR DEBTS
Self Discipline <<--click here for Step No.1


Don't Jeopardize Relationships over Money

What do you think is the difference between wicked and righteous? Last time I did some posting about how to pay off debts,  and what are the steps because I know, one way to be financially free is to be debt free right? Let us all admit that no one doesn't want to be financially stable. Yes money cannot buy happiness but it can give you peace of mind thinking that tomorrow you have something to give to those people who comes to you because they are really financially in need. According to Psalm 37:21--The Wicked borrows but does not pay back, but the righteous is generous and gives. My parents taught me a lot of misconception about life most specially in terms of money. I am not blaming them because they didn't came from a rich family like the Ayala and the Zobel, or the Cojuangco and the Aquinos. 

My parents both came from a humble beginnings. Though according to my mother, my father's family own a mango farm in their province and my grandfather on my father side was a well known educator in their town because he was a teacher. That is why I am still thankful that my parents value education more than anything else in this world. But one thing they didn't educate me is in term of financial literacy. Now I am trying my best to teach my children how to be financially independent at an early age, to be content in what they have, to be frugal and value life and relationship more than anything in this world. 

I saw a lot of broken relationship because of some financial problems. Me, myself, I experienced it first hand as I enter adulthood and started to be conscious about life and it's meaning, how my mother and father argue because we don't have enough amount of money to pay for our monthly bills. How my husband and I fought because our salary was far behind our debts that we need to pay. But those where the days, I thank God that my parents taught me one important thing, how to value people over money. Yes even though I was so preoccupied and busy achieving my goals on how to be financially independent my feet are still on the ground knowing what is important and what is not. Don't waste the long time friendship over money, the happy memories you had with someone because of trying to escape the reality of debt. Paying of debt was as easy as counting and reading the ABC's. Just don't forget to ask the guidance of the lord to give you so much knowledge, courage and the determination to face the reality. So the second step in paying of your debts is LIST DOWN ALL YOUR DEBTS. Do not disregard or ignore some of your lender because you think that they are close to you, regardless if they are your closest relative, someone whom you think understand you the most, because sometimes we tend to hurt the feelings or ignore those people who are closest to our heart. My mother use to tell me. 

                 "Ang utang ay utang, ang hingi ay hingi, kahit isang 
           daan pa yan pag hiningi mo kahit di mo na bayaran okey
           lang, pero ang piso kahit piso lang yan pag inutang mo ito
           ay kailangan mong bayaran".

This means regardless how much the amount of money you borrow as long as you take it for your own use and benefits return the favor and don't throw what is the most important things in life, the people around you. So start listing down all  your debts and next time I will tell you how to pay them in a minimal way possible. That you and your lender will both benefit from it.

Happy Savings and Have a fruitful life.

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Contemplating 2012

RECOLLECTION


Twenty twelve (2012) was one of the most challenging year for us. This is the first time that I am trying to contemplate things and events that happened in my life. A lot of things to be thankful for, a lot of challenges that I may say brought more maturity to me. I admire those people who never afraid of failing, those who made mistakes so many times just to learn, just to gain knowledge, those who never afraid of changes they are more admirable than any other human individual in this world. Gone where the days when people usually say to one another don't ever change. Changes are the only inevitable in this world specially now a days with technology, current version easily replaced with new version in just a blink of an eyelashes. Yes I've changed but I never forgot where I came from but I've learned my lesson well that's why. They say you loose some, you gain some, but for me I never loose, it just add up to my life.

SPIRITUAL & FAMILY LIFE


CFC Malaysia

Being a part of this community was one of the best changes we had last year. It's true that in his time, in Ecclesiastes 3:1-15 said For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven, A time to be born and a time to die; a time to plant and a time to pluck what is planted... I am so grateful for having them, for I know God send good people in our lives for a purpose and that purpose is to lead us for a better life. 

FINANCIAL ASPECT

Another changes we had was in terms of our financial literacy. Now I am so sure and confident that we are on the right track.


we gained 19.50% of our stocks. I know this is not much but I believe life is not a race it's a journey that we need to savoir each day. It's not about how much money we make but how we save it. With our past mistake I've learned to appreciate things not because I have plenty but because I know how it feels to have nothing. Wealth I believed is not what a person has. It is a state of mind. The people who succeed in life from financial perspective have a positive beliefs about money. I know I ignore some few people in terms of their financial needs but I guess this proverbs serve as one of my guiding principle if I really wanted to help  "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime" though in every rule there is an exemption we just have to use our right judgement and God's guidance. My line are open you can ask question any time (FB, Email, SMS) and we are willing to share our knowledge in terms of financial aspects. Though I always told few of my friends who are already asking me about it. I am not a financial expert but I am trying to learn every bit of it, we can help each other by exchanging our ideas, after all two heads are better than one. I want to retire with enough, not more than I need when I am old.

PERSONAL LIFE

They said you will learned real friends when you have nothing but failures and problems and when you are on your worst self and attitude but they still accept you for being you. The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just have to find out who's the one worth suffering for. These people embraces me despite of being nasty at time and unpleasant just like most of my old friends whose with me until now. I treasure each and everyone of them (Though sometimes I tend to forgot unintentional of course, sign of old age hehe). I know we still need a lot of time to know each other but last year was maybe the crucial year for us to know more of one another and  know the real meaning of friendship and family. For family is not about blood, It's about who is willing to hold your hand when you need it most. I am just one lucky girl because I was lost so many times and every time God sent someone to be with me along the way. My toes and fingers are not enough to these countless people in my life and they just add up every year.



Life is too short, people come and go, they say "Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while and leave footprints on our hearts. And we never ever be the same again"



RESOLUTION

I am not sure if I can do these New Year resolution because I don't have enough discipline I guess to do it. But for the first time I wanted to achieve something in the next year and the coming year. I will start this year and I will try to revisit it every year. I know New Year resolution are not by force but they help us do better in life, help us avoid the mistakes which tried to hold us back in the past. That is why I just wanted to:

* Have more faith
* Read more books
* Eat good food (Healthy one, less meat, more fruit and vegetable)
* Listen more to good music
* Be more grateful (7X7X7) to attract positive vibes
* Play more 
* Be more patient and understanding (Specially with my children)
* Learn Mandarin (hahaha near to impossible)
* Attend more training and seminars (on personal and financial aspect)
* Less mindful to negative people and more attentive to positive one.
* Exercise more (hirap nito need lots of encouragement)
* Find more reason to be happy

So "don't count the years, make the years count" and everything will follow.

Cheers!














Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Number 1 Rule: Self Discipline



     Christmas is fast approaching and I think just in time to do some posting about self-discipline as part of my instalment article on the strategy on how to pay off debts (quite busy this past few months). The first step or strategy of paying of debts as I mentioned on my previous post about  PAYING OFF DEBTS was Self Discipline before you even start paying your debts. December was the most celebrated month of the year because of Christmas time. I remember my mother used to decorate our home on the first day of the BER month and my father never goes home without bringing big lantern after a month of working far away from his family a month before Christmas. How  we celebrate Christmas in the Philippines? If my friends only knew how much I miss Christmas in the Philippines, because Christmas season is the most awaited celebration for us Filipinos. It is the best of the year for us who worked abroad, and those who migrated to other countries to visit and spend holidays with their love ones. 

       One thing I miss about Christmas in the Philippines was the Christmas bonus and thirteen month pay, as employee then I am looking forward to this on Christmas time because I know a lot of money coming my way, meaning I can start making list of how to spend my Christmas bonus. I believed then, that so many are expecting to received something from me and it will be a great disappointment to them if they couldn't receive it (me and my malicious mind). But do you know that nine (9) out of ten (10) regular employees, that after Christmas they will add up more debts than their previous year even though they receive two (2) or three (3) times more than their usual salary during December. Why? because the scenario was like this, though they receive more than their expected salary, they will spend more than the money they received during the bonus month and this is the usual mistake most of the regular employees. Been there, done that, I even borrow money just to satisfy my self, believing that it's just once in a year that I was able to give, to make the people around me happy, just to feed my temporary happiness of gift giving, just for the sake of Christmas season. I fail to realize that Christmas is not only during December, that Christmas is with in our hearts all year round and it depends on how we wanted to celebrate it everyday. That after holiday I left nothing but debts  and I will start the new year with lots of stress and negative vibes. 

         When my husband and I started to learned how difficult life was specially when you have nothing but debts, I decided to put my feet on the ground and started to analyse the situations, to be subjective to everything, to put reason on every action. Thinking what is more important, is it money, gift, or friendship and my families future. So on the first Christmas that I didn't made a list of names and things to buy but rather debts I need to pay, a lot of words came out, some are hurtful, some are rather judgemental. Yes, it is true that there is no discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. It was indeed painful when you heard someone calling you madamot (selfish), kuripot (thrifty) in front of your face. I endure all of that because I need to start  my life in proper order specially in terms of my financial aspect, instead of spending my bonuses by showing off to those people who doesn't even care. Looking back now I can tell that during those time I also learned who are my real friends because they supported me all the way.

        So this holiday season be discipline enough to think before spending, be wise before borrow money just to have something to give. There's nothing wrong in giving it's one of the best attitude every person must learn and have  but make sure that at the end of the day you will not end up crying because you spend more than you can't afford (just a little trick, just make sure you spend with in your means). As I always say this to my children "helping others...by helping yourself first" for how can  you be able to give if you don't have something to give right. Happy Savings and have a fruitful life.


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